Saturday, July 7, 2012

#SweetSat Sample 7.7.2012

This excerpt is taken from Moons' Kiss by Kimberly K. Comeau, available in print and ebook from Amazon.com and other book retailers.
"Shecaren."
Manerra startled and whirled. He had not heard Denassa approach. He had not been aware that he'd stopped walking. His first wonder was whether she'd overheard his plea, but she stood, head bowed, in a deference they rarely used privately. Her formality reminded him of how deeply the janquer were affected by shecaren arguments.
"What does he want from me, Dee?" Manerra bypassed the expected acknowledgment.
Denassa's head lifted.
"Is he afraid I'll challenge his decisions? Or challenge his rule?"
Discomfort overcame her surprise. "He's not confided in me."
He interpreted that as a plea not to compromise her position. "Then tell me what I've missed these last four years. What happened to him?"
"After leaving Kita, we returned to Ayahn Rahh—"
"I know where you went!"
She stopped talking, her frustration evident.
"Dee . . ." he floundered in his search for the one question that would make sense of their arguments. Then suddenly, "Did he want me back?"
Her composure dissolved. "All the years you were gone, he did little more than talk about your return and relate stories of his own tribal years. He planned our arrival in Thurra to coincide with the completion of your training."
Manerra flushed hotly. "Then why can't we talk? Did he have feelings for Hyran he’s never mentioned? Have I failed him?"
Denassa was shocked again. "It's only been a day. Give—"
"No. No, it's not," he cut her short. "We only spoke of it today. Whatever's been wrong has been wrong since Thurra." But because Hyran's death was the obvious answer, Manerra asked, "What, in my father's name, is that thing I risked my life to save?"

11 comments:

  1. Captivating ending to this sample! And I love the little clues, like her deference, to the importance here. Nicely done, Kimberly!

    On another note, is there a way to get your paragraphs to wrap, or are they just showing that way for me? Every paragraph strings across one line and I have to scroll sideways. Worth it to read, though! ;c)

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    1. Sarah, I'm so glad you enjoyed the sample despite the format issue. I'm sorry you had to scroll back and forth. How annoying! I wish I knew enough to understand why the paragraphs are doing that. The sentences wrap on my screen, and, so far, you're the first to mention a problem. If anyone's got a "try this" suggestion, I'd love to hear it. Also, if anyone else is experiencing the same problem, please let me know!

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    2. Someone told me that it may be an issue with Mozilla browsers, that the same page kept its format in Internet Explorer. I live for the day when software and computers are truly compatible!

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  2. Thanks for sharing your snippet. I am eager to read more! And I'm glad you could visit my sample.

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    1. I'm thrilled by the opportunity to read yours and others' work, Laurel. Hearing that you're eager to read more makes my day.

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    1. I'm so glad to hear that, JC. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

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  4. Intense! There's so much...passionate frustration at the end. Will he know? Will she tell? Great excerpt :)

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  5. You're such an astute reader and writer, Mirriam. I recommended your excerpt on #SweetSat to a friend. I hope she checked it out.

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